Carolyn M. Riker, MA, LMHC, LLC
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“If you are always trying to be normal,
you will never know
how amazing you can be.”
​~ Maya Angelou

Being a Poet

12/4/2022

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Picture
Mara Ket via unsplash

If you want to be a poet
be prepared for an adventure
it might begin with a faint nudge
from a well inside
a tap, tap, tap
like rain or snow
or the cocoon of fog
gracing a window.

It’s a knowing you can’t hide.
It might begin with an avalanche
of pain and tears and all the aches
from far and near
and, yet you’ve kept it quiet…
until now.

Several will say it’s your calling
but I say it’s a stirring spell
more like drinking a potion
where love and hope,
angst and pain
and somehow
the sea and gravity
are mixed in
with the stars and the moon.

Nature will be your guide,
and emotions will serve as a teacher.
Your experiences and way of being
will transcribe the poetry for you.
Others seeking their words
will be attracted
when you share yours.

It’s a conduit that bridges people.
When a poem is ready
to come through
you will notice
a perplexing sensation
near your heart or
a burning in your belly
and there’s very little
that can stop you
from the urge to write.

You will pull your car over
and you’ll scramble
to find an envelope,
the edge of a grocery list
whether the sun stands tall
or if evergreens call
and most definitely
when your tears fall.

Even in your nighttime dreams,
you’ll scribble notes and words
and chapters.
A leaf will come to life.
Colors are purer.
Those voices touch your DNA
and by morning, you’ll rub your eyes
and exclaim, I must write!

If you want to be a poet
please understand
it is complex and
it is simple.
To be a poet is inviting,
a convoluted inquiry
exposing all sides of you
because….
Poetry is your companion.
A signature from you.
A scribe of words
and a dialect that only can be
transcribed by you.

Published on Medium. "If You Want to Be a Poet." 
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I Prefer Soft Landings & Slow Starts

9/10/2022

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Picture
Photo by Ben Scott on Unsplash

I prefer soft landings and slow starts.
Space to deliberately study a leaf’s lineage.
To feel words as they roll over my tongue.


Is there a river-like cadence?
Or do I need a valley of vowels with voles?
Am I caught in the grey shale shades,
unable to find the blue ones?
Or have I wed my dreams with a tangerine sun?


The sky, whether night or day,
is split wide with starry diamond eyes.
A depth mirrored as the sea.


I’m captivated by the bees
who nurse the pollen
from lavender’s bent knees.
They dip freely in a flowing fresco,
a living hum.


And each day, a bouquet of roses
blooming on thorn and green
welcome my soul home.


I prefer soft landings and slow starts,
so I don’t forget where I come from.

Featured on Medium: "This is Who I Am"
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Burnout & Personal Boundaries

10/13/2021

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PicturePhoto by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash
Sometimes our days get so hectic, and we forget to slow down enough to take care of ourselves. We erase our personal boundaries and believe if we just give more, all will be okay. But this mindset can lead to burnout.
​
Anne Helen Petersen, author of Can’t Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation, writes:

​“…the burnout condition is more than just addiction to work. It’s an alienation from the self and from desire. If you subtract your ability to work, who are you? Is there a self left to excavate?
​We aren’t infinite creatures of energy. We need to have limits so we can refill. Which led me to think about personal boundaries. Then I asked myself these four questions:
  1. What stirs my imagination, and what depletes it?
  2.  Where’s the passion in what I do?
  3.  How do I reset myself?
  4. Why is it so hard to slow down and take longer breaks?

I turned this into a journal writing exercise to see where my inner wisdom would lead me.

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What's Your Normal?

9/15/2021

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PicturePhoto by Aiony Haust on Unsplash
One afternoon, on a late walk, these words came to me: “The more we try to walk into the light, the bigger our shadow grows.”

Then I thought, we can’t be real if we only share what’s going well. What if we shared a little more of what’s going wrong to normalize how we aren’t perfect but beautifully real?

It is hard to be ourselves. We are told not to feel too much and to toughen up. “Don’t take it personally” is another adage flavored with condescension and minimizing one’s sensitivity.

What if you do take it personally and feel hurt? I know, at times, I do, and it really aches to be dismissed.

Are we supposed to tuck more proverbial nonsense under an already bulging rug? I think not, and yet, sometimes, we’ve become too conditioned and pretend we are okay.

But what if we aren’t okay. What if we are tired, annoyed, and irritable? What if we don’t always want to be nice and polite? What if we have an opinion different from the majority? What if we think and feel in layers, so we simply need more time alone?
​
I feel our sensitivity and differences are a gift. And that means we are intelligent creatures who choose to set personal boundaries. By doing so, we respect and appreciate our needs.


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Let Go of People Who are Not Prepared to Love You

8/2/2021

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Picture
Photo by S. Hermann & F. Richter via pixaby
“Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important thing. — Anthony Hopkins

​We know, not everyone will love us, and sometimes, those who say they do really don’t! What a mixed signal! With the latter, we sense an undercurrent of contrary feelings. We notice something is off but can’t quite put our finger on it. Yet we feel the mixed signal, deep, deep, deep down in our gut.

One of the most challenging life lessons is to stop trying to gain any sort of close relationship with a person who doesn’t accept us as we are. Of course, we aren’t perfect, and that is the crux of being human. Our imperfect quirks are our beauty and intelligence.

​Here’s a way to help us let go of people who are not prepared to love us is to watch out for mixed signals.

​

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    About 

    Carolyn Riker is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in private practice. She is also the author of three books. Her most recent book is "My Dear, Love Hasn't Forgotten You."

    Carolyn has a blog on Medium. You can follow her on Facebook Carolyn Riker, poet & writer, and Instagram.

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